Okay, I took an extra day off. I needed it. I’m
back though, and that’s all that matters! I read a funny yesterday while I
was having my coffee and it inspired today’s theme. Death. Don’t worry;
I’m not in a morbid mood or anything like that. Sometimes death is
downright funny, and I aim to show you what’s funny about it!
The 11 Most Badass Last Words Ever Uttered
Here it is. The
article that inspired today’s column!
Cracked.com hits one out of the park with this one! I laughed so hard I
almost spit coffee on my monitor! Here is my personal favorite of the list:
Last
Words Of:Voltaire, philosopher
This one requires a little context. Voltaire was a famous essayist,
deist and apparently smartass.
So who is the "enemy" he's talking about in the above quote? It was
his response to a priest at the side of his deathbed, asking
Voltaire to use the precious few moments left to renounce Satan.
One small
warning, there is strong language all over this article. Don’t read it at
work unless your boss has an easygoing sense of humor!
The 11 Most Badass Last Words Ever Uttered
5 Movies that Make Death Funny
I always find
lists about stuff for you guys to read, but I’ve never really written my
own. I thought I’d give this list making a try. Here is my first list. In
no particular order, here are 5 Movies that Make Death Funny:
Death Becomes Her: Two women on the never-ending quest for eternal youth
find a seemingly miracle treatment that promises to keep them youthful
forever. They fight, over a man (of course), kill each other (many times)
and end up “lifelong” friends.
Weekend at Bernie’s: What do you do when you are invited to a weekend
house party, but upon arrival, you find the host dead? Have the party
anyway, of course!
Shaun of the Dead: Shaun’s life sucks. His best friend/roommate is a
lazy, video game playing slob, he hates his job, and his girlfriend left
him. To top it all off, there just happens to be a zombie apocalypse. What
does Shaun do? Save the world, of course! (Just a little bit of odd
trivia: The weekend I was in the hospital after having my son, this movie
played at least 27 times on three different channels.)
Beetlejuice: When a young married couple finds themselves dead, and a
new family moving into their quaint little farmhouse and upsetting the
natural order of things, something must be done. They call in Beetlejuice
to guide them in getting rid of the living. Funny stuff!
The Frighteners: A psychic starts a ghost hunting business. Here’s the
twist: his ghost friends are the ones hunting the places he’s cleaning up!
Thirteen Ways to Kill a Sim
Murder is bad.
It is against the law, and you will go to prison for killing people. Unless
said person is a Sim. When the world is full of stupid people, go kill some
Sims. When you feel the urge to strangle your significant other, or shoot
your mother-in-law, load up the Sims 2, make a Sim with their name, and take
the ladders off the pool. Have them dive in then watch them drown. You
feel vindicated, and no one is actually dead. You get to kill people
without going to prison! (Disclaimer: I am just being funny. If I get any
emails encouraging me to seek therapy, I will create a Sim with your name,
and have you eaten by flies!)
BTW- my personal
favorite on this list is #12!
Funny Headstones
If I weren’t planning on being cremated and put in a
container chained to my husband’s wrist so he never forgets me, I would want
a funny headstone.
I don’t know how true these are, but here’s a list
of some more funny epitaphs!
